Not My Job


Here's a page for the questions I get that I have no real idea why folks ask me. The topics have nothing to do with gowns or are in areas that are way out of my realm of expertise. I have in the past simply answered these letters as best I can then deleted them. Many of these issues deal with etiquette, which is very much not a topic I excel in, but I've decided that some of these may be of interest to others and maybe can generate discussions that may be helpful.

added December 2007

A Pick up Bustle Ballroom style has been added to a dress and to make the sash tying easier the seamstress has added three loops estimate 12ins 6ins 6ins down the middle inside of the sash and 2 ribbons have been added to the center back inside area below the waistline where the back laces up. How does this work to give a double looped back sash bow??
Thank you.

I get many of this type of letter. I really can not answer. I have no idea what was done or why without talking to the person who designed the buslte. There are millions of alteration people and they all do things differently. I don't have a crystal ball to give you answers with. You need to ask the seamstress who created the bustle how to work it.

It is very important that you ask your alteration person how to do such things when you pick-up your gown. I always make sure my brides understand everything there is to know about their bustle before they leave my studio. I think every alteration specialist should do the same but most don't so you have to be responcible and ask. If the person is not there when you go to get your gown, go back when she is. Do not let yourself be put in the situation where you don't know how to rig your bustle.

added August 2007

Quick question for you?? I just purchased my wedding dress, it is beautiful, it is a halter with a long thick sheer tie at the neck that lays down my back to around the small of my back.
Everyone in the world is telling me I need to wear a veil, however two things, first I don't want to cover up the tie to the halter, and two, I simply don't want one.
Can you tell me is it normally tradition, or can I just get rid of the veil all together and use some nice hair jewelry instead?
Any other suggestions would be great. Thanks, Tina in Denver

I'm not a fashion consultant, but I have observed that veils are very out this year. Many of my brides are going without. You do not have to wear one. You can wear just a hair ornament without a veil if you feel you need something.

Veils are traditional and fun to do and they are very shear. If you got one that was only one layer it would not cover up the tie in the back. All the nice detail could be clearly seen through the tulle.

added June 2007

I need to know if I will look ridiculous in a traditional gown with a train. I am very fit but definitely older. So is my husband to be. The men are wearing tuxedos. Help!!!

Thank you in advance, Marty

I have had bridal customers who were older than the average bride and I never thought it odd that they wished to wear the traditional gown with a train. I'm not a fashion consultant and I have no idea what you look like, so it's rather hard to answer this. Besides, it doesn't mater what I or anyone else thinks. It sounds like your groom wants you to wear a gown. If you agree, go for it!

Just want you to see a picture of us..Maybe you will say no?









You guys look very happy. I still think you should wear what makes you look good to yourself and your groom and don't worry about what other people might think. Maybe you will look ridiculous to some people but you should do what you want to for your wedding. YOU are getting married, not any person's poor opinion of you.

Check out the picture I have attached. It's of one of my older brides and her husband driving away from the wedding. It's one of the neatest pictures I have.

It might ease your mind to read "It was on Fire When I Lay Down on it" by Robert Fulghum.










added June 2007

Hi I was wondering if you could give me any advice.

I have bought my daughter a prom dress which is white polyester material with a beaded design bodice. There are some make up marks on the inside where someone has tried it on and had fake tan on it and a few little marks on the skirt but they are hardly noticeable.

I have had a few bits of conflicting advice from family who say that even though it says dry clean only I should be okay soaking it in the bath in warmish water with a very soft detergent and then letting it drip dry - is this ok or would you not advise it? The label says dry clean.

Thanks, Christine

I am not a laundering expert so anything I say here is pure opinion.

Polyester fabric is often washable and labeled that way. Most of the reason why special occasion dresses have a dry clean label in them is for the professional steaming they will get after the cleaning. Though they may be able to be washed in water, they wrinkle so much that most folks wouldn't like to do the ironing necessary to give them a nice finish.

I can not advise you to go against the label's directives. But I can tell you I have washed many of my "Dry Clean Only" items with much success. I do sometimes ruin something, but for the most part I have been able to hand wash silks and polyester items. I do have the professional steaming equipment that allows me to finish them just like the dry cleaners do, but if you are patient and careful, you should be able to use a home iron to finish your dress.

Since you have never done this before and the marks are on the inside I would not advise you to try it. If you ruined it than you would have to buy your daughter a new dress for the prom and the money you were trying to save would turn into an extra expense. The marks don't show, so she can wear the dress to the prom and no one will know. If you want to try washing it yourself after the prom, it's up to you.

added August 2005


I am getting married Oct. 1, and I have almost everything in line, except my hair... I have
short and I have purchased a beautiful veil, but don't know what to do with my hair. It is just
long enough to put in a french twist, which looks okay with the vail, but I never pull my hair
up, so why do it for the wedding? I want to look like me as much as possible. Now I'm afraid my
vail will look stupid just wearing with my hair the way I wear it everyday... any advice. I'm
so torn. I've even considered returning the vail and not wearing one, but my dad thinks it just
tops off my dress.

Caught in a hairy situation....

You said it - You have to be yourself! It's so very important to present the person you are to your future spouce. If you can't be who you are, are you going to turn into someone else just because you're getting married?

Try the veil on with your hair the way you normally do it. Decide if it looks silly to you. Don't think about what it will look like to anyone else. If you decide it looks ok, then wear it. If you decide it doesn't your Dad will understand because he loves you and you are his little girl.

Tradition is a great thing and fun to follow if it fits your style. If it doesn't than throw it out. I would feel like such a fake using a tradition that wasn't me on my wedding day. It's so much more important to be the real "you" walking to that alter.

Best Wishes to you!


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